I’ve had the pleasure of helping my brother begin a new chapter in his life. More than a week ago I drove to another state and helped him pack up and move back with me. You can’t start life over, but you can begin a new chapter in your life. My brother has begun a new chapter in his life; it’s a familiar chapter as I was going through a very similar experience more than five years ago.
My brother situations is one that he has repeated time and time again. He has been in one relationship after another, for all the wrong reasons. Most of us have had a relationship based on everything but love. These relationships are not authentic and will always fail. When he said to me “I’m realizing I don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy” is when I knew he had stepped out of the confusion and his own personal path. It’s exciting, scary and energizing all at the same time.
I was at the same place in my life at one time. I thought I was incomplete without being in a relationship. I felt unworthy unless I had the love woman. I felt somehow less of a human being if I was single..there must be something wrong with me or I am a bad person if I not with someone. About six years ago I was in same crossroads that my brother is standing at now. It’s tough to break out of the old mindset and allow a new way of being enter your life. The old way may be unhappy, but it’s known. What is known is comfortable, what is unknown can be intimidating.
I have heard my brother talk about not being happy in past relationships. Being tired of repeating the cycle he has been in for much of his adult life. This is the first time I recall him realizing his self happiness, his self-worth. Most of family have expressed their opinions and what they think is best for my brother. While opinions are well-intentioned, nothing will motivate a person to make positive changes except the person. Only he can take that first step and break away from the cycle he wishes to be free of. All I can do is be supportive and help in any way I can.
I know there are many people who want to break the cycle of unhappiness but don’t know how or they are afraid to try. Some people have been unhappy for so long it’s all they know. I knew my brother was unhappy in his life situation from the phone calls we were having. I offered him a home and new place to start over. This time felt different. During our phone conversations he sounded different. He sounded tired of repeating the cycle of one relationship after another. It felt like he was on the verge of leaving a relationship and beginning another.
He accepted my offer to come here to live and start over. New place, new job and the opportunity to truly discover who he truly is. I think he has the strength to step out on his own path and realize just how strong he is. Shortly after arriving here we had to take a road trip to another state and had time to talk about life and what he wanted. I told him I believed the universe gives us signs along our life’s journey and if we are aware we will notice them.
About this time we passed a town called Hope. A few minutes later a sports car drove past and I noticed it had a custom license plate “NJYLFE”. At first glance I thought NJ was for New Jersey but couldn’t figure out what YLFE was. And then my mind added in the missing vowels and I realized it was short for ENJOY LIFE! I told my brother that is was pretty amazing to be here on this day on this interstate and have a car go by with Enjoy Life as a license plate! What a sign! This is the beginning of a new chapter for my brother and I have a feeling we both will learn from it.
-Live in Love
Update: Read New Chapter in Life Part 2